Jim Nelson: A Great Man

The Best Man I Ever Knew

James L. Nelson

Sept. 28, 1935 – Sept. 12, 2018

Authors note: Though I sit with my father in his hospital room, contemplating his last remaining days (or maybe just hours) upon this earth, I find I cannot differentiate my thoughts of him and those my mom. In my mind and in my heart, “MOM and DAD” are forever one and the same. So this essay, in remembrance of dad, focuses on his shared life and the incredible family he and mom built. 

Long before I knew enough to understand it, my direction in life was set.

As a toddler, child, pre-teen, teenager, and young adult — and indeed, even today in my later adult years — my course in life was directed by two of the greatest life-guides any person could ask for: Jim and Diana Nelson, my loving parents. That’s not to say my parents dictated my course in life. Quite the contrary: Rather than determine my life’s path for me, they gave me the guidance to help me find my own way with courage and conviction, just as they did for my four elder siblings.

Jim and Diana Nelson raised their five children to be strong individuals, helping them find their own courses through life. We Nelson siblings each chose our own unique paths, yet we followed a common guide along those trails. Mom and Dad provided us with grace and guidance to keep us on a pathway of honor and respect.

From Dad, we learned to move forward in life with strength and determination. Dad respects all that is good, strong and righteous in our world. He is a pillar of strength upon which life’s storms break and dissipate. In all my years, Dad seldom raised his voice, yet his voice was the epitome of power in our world. Dad stands as our moral compass, our guiding force in a world fraught with questionable choices and dangerous directions. Through simple example rather than profound declaration, Dad offered the path of compassion through strength. We learned from his actions and deeds, even while he allowed us to make our own choices and follow our own paths. Sometimes our paths led us astray. Yet even when we drifted, he was always there with a calm, gentle hand to help us find our proper course and guide us back to the trail of happiness and fulfillment.

From Mom, we learned compassion through love. Love is the guiding force in Mom’s teaching, and we all thrive in her unwavering love for us, and for our extended family. Yet she also presents a strength of will that will cause the stoutest souls to tremble in fear should any of her family be threatened or endangered. Mom’s love is backed with a core of iron that will never bend or fade.

With Mom and Dad as our guides, the Nelson clan had no option but to thrive and grow.

I grew up under the loving guidance of parents who had learned much in the raising of my siblings. As the youngest, I know I was given leeway where my siblings faced restrictions. Yet at the same time, I was somewhat constrained by “prior deeds” as I struggled to find my own way into adulthood. Despite those challenges, I look back on my childhood and young adulthood and marvel at the balance presented by my parents in raising me.

From Dad, I learned early on the importance of a good work ethic. I couldn’t have been more than 11 or 12 when I took over the lawn-mowing business started by my eldest brother: We each had our turn in mowing the lawns of a solid rotation of ‘clients’ in our home-town. And though the clients were largely passed down to me by my brothers, it was Dad who taught me the importance of completing each job in a timely and responsible manner. He would help me by delivering the lawn mower to the furthest locations early in the morning, then would expect me to bicycle over and complete the mowing by late morning so he could pick up the mower on his lunch break. He never wavered in his help in this and on the occasion that I failed to perform the work when expected, Dad wouldn’t ‘punish’ me. Rather, he would subtlety – through expression and quiet word – chastise me for failing an obligation. That was enough to keep me on task in the future.

Likewise, when I performed some task of which I was especially proud — getting my first job on my own (butcher’s assistant at age 14) or earning top marks in my junior high (and later high school) graduating class, Dad would give me praise and congratulations without indulging in overexuberance. From this, I learned to work hard and enjoy my achievements, yet not grow overconfident or arrogant. In short, I learned the joy of doing a job well, even when the reward was simply that of completing the job as required.

Mom taught me to work hard but to also find enjoyment in the job itself, even in the most menial tasks. During long days of dusty, tedious work in a grain storage elevator, Mom frequently surprised me (and before me, my brothers, who also held the role of grain elevator operator) with snacks, books, and miscellaneous treats to break up the day. She would find ways to help me figure out how to make the ‘work’ most enjoyable even while completing the required tasks.

Make no mistake, though: My early life wasn’t endless work, and my parents weren’t ruthless taskmasters. Far from it. Mom and Dad encouraged and supported a strong sense of fun. Recreation played a huge role in my development. I learned early on to enjoy and revel in an outdoor lifestyle. Camping was a core part of our summers, spending long days in the Blue Mountains. In conjunction with camping, motorized recreation was an early thrill – I embraced the joy of riding snowmobiles and trail motorcycles before I hit double digits in age. Yet the thrills weren’t focused on speed and power. Rather, the machines were merely tools to get into the backcountry, where the true thrills were found: scenic splendor and wild beauty. It was the mountain trails that enthralled me, not the machines.

In addition to motorized trail sports, Mom and Dad introduced me to wild harvests of morel mushrooms, mountain huckleberries, blackberries, and more. Dad gave me my first introduction to bird hunting and fishing: sports I reveled in through my teens and early 20s, though only the specific art of fly fishing stuck with me into later adulthood.

Mom taught me the joys of cooking, helping me make use of the products of my time in the field, as well as other meal preparations. Those lessons continue to pay off now, so many decades later.

Today, when I’m nearer to the end of my career than the beginning of it, I still thrive in the outdoor world. Indeed, my early introduction to the woods and trails guided me into a life based on my love of outdoors. And that love of the outdoors that stands as the cornerstone of my career was instilled in me by my parents.

Though Dad is nearing the end of his days here, he lives on. Mom will carry his spirit forward with her, bearing his strength and dignity along with her own love and compassion. Mom has the strength of will to carry both of their strong spirits into the future.

Dad will also live through his legacy. As the leader of the Green Giant processing facilities in Washington and Idaho, Jim Nelson WAS the heart and soul of the largest employer in our hometown for the last three decades of the 20^th Century. He was executive in charge, yet he was frequently in the cannery, or in the field, getting dirty with his employees. He took his turn driving sillage trucks and pulling pea vines out of clogged combines. He was the type of manager employees loved and respected.

After retirement, he continued to give back to the community as a county commissioner and vocal leader. But even more than his community leadership, Dad’s legacy stands with his children — and their children. Mom and Dad gave five offspring the guidance and love to help them go out and be leaders on their own.

Jill as the eldest child is perhaps the best among us. She became a strong mother to four of her own kids, the true and spiritual mother to several step kids, and the adopted mother to dozens of kids who grew up needing the love, support, and disciple of a strong adult. Talk to the childhood friends of my nieces and nephews who grew up in Dayton and you’ll find to a person they honor and respect one “adult” above all others (other than their own parents, though sometimes even more than them): Jill. Jill provided a mother’s loving guidance to her kids, her ‘step’ kids, and all of their friends. She represents the best of Dad’s quiet strength, dignity, and loving guidance, with Mom’s pure compassion and love.

Like Jill, my oldest brother Kevin is the torch bearer of mom’s power of love through compassion, but he also has Dad’s incredible strength of conviction and goodness. Kevin stands second only to Dad when I look for role models for moral guidance. Like Dad, Kevin has an unwavering sense of right and wrong, and always come down on the side of good with strength, conviction, and leadership, tempered with an almost overwhelming blanket of love and compassion. Kevin is perhaps the best representative of the love, devotion, and moral strength we see at the core of both Mom and Dad.

Though I love them all equally, Jim is my closest friend among my siblings – in large part because we share a common love of the outdoors. But also, because he is most like Dad. Jim IS Jim, you might say. Like Dad, Jim respects all that is good, strong and righteous in our world. He is a pillar of strength and a strong moral compass, yet – showing Mom’s influence – he has an incredible sense of compassion and love that, when it shows itself, is a wondrous thing. Like Dad, Jim has a quiet dignity and an unspoken, but clearly felt, sense of power and leadership. Like Dad, he is also a rock for those with whom he shares his life. Yet for all his likeness to Dad, Mom is also present in Jim. Mom gave Jim a great sense of humor, and love of laughter. She taught him to embrace his emotions and to share them more freely than Dad ever could. Jim presents the moral strengths of both our parents.

Keith is a wonderful blend of Mom and Dad’s passions for life. Keith lives with an exuberance I find remarkable and of which I envy. Keith seems to get his generous spirit and pure passion for life from Mom — the only person I know who is more “giving” than Keith, is Mom herself. Ask a favor of Keith, and it’s done, no questions asked. Yet he has Dad’s business sense, his leadership skills, and his strong love and devotion to family at his core. Keith is a powerful leader in his industry, a savvy manager, and loving family man. In short, if you extracted Dad’s love of family, as well as his business and leadership skills and blended them with Mom’s social skills, and her joy of sharing fun and entertain with friends and family, you’d end up with Keith.

Mom and Dad. Jim and Diana. My Parents. These two made me the man I am today, and I strive daily to live up to the example they’ve set for not only for me, but for my siblings, for all my nieces and nephews, and for all the individuals who married — or partnered — into our family. Jim and Diana Nelson are beacons of grace and honor shining brightly over the entire Nelson clan.

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